I found myself committing shoe snobbery today – I am usually not one to turn my nose at shoes of any sort – the cheap, the plastic, the ugly – there has always been a place for them, even though it might not be my feet.

Today , however, I returned an order from Zara without trying the shoes on, just because they were fabric! I realised they were mock suede after I had bought them, and even before I opened the parcel, I had already made up 100 excuses in my head and decided I didn’t want them.

Sorry green courts…